Retirement Redecorator Gifts

Dun Decking

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

Unfinished Funiture Store.

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

The Pencil and Sharpener

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

"I find you can't have too many man caves."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

Tedious Romantic.

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

Man and woman buying furniture.

Two portraits kissing each other

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."