Red Sox Aficionados Gifts

Monster Club. It's difficult to get this entire group to a ball game. Yeah, Dracula will go only on bat day. King Kong has to be in the upper deck. Jekyll and Hyde only go to double-headers. There must be a full moon for the werewolf to go. And of course The Hulk will only sit atop the Fenway Park left field wall. Yeah, he loves the green monster! Red Sox.

I like the Jets...I guess

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

"There! Isn't sipping my Tropical Surprise more fun than arguing over some ancient sports trivia?"

"Gesundheit!"

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"At my age kiddo, you enjoy the simple pleasures: a comfy cushion and a heat-lamp..."

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

"Why T-Rexes do not play volleyball..."

A skier and a paraglider

"Get out here Phil! The outside ideas are far better than the inside ones were!"

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

'I don't even care about the score, catty. I just enjoy the long walk.'

David and Goliath.

Caber

'Guys! The turnovers are KILLING us!'

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

The pass the ball to Jones for a three=pointer. I wish I got to shoot sometimes. Me too. Public Health Dept. Vaccine Distribution. Distributing the vaccine is just like when we were coaching basketball. We draw up a plan which specifies who gets the shots. And whatever we decide some people will be unhappy.

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

'Talk to my lawyer.'

"I can't shake the feeling there's always someone looking over my shoulder."