Red Sox Diehard Gifts

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

No Baseball

"Goal!"

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'...I mean, kicked out of the game is serious, but kicked off the planet?'

World Cup Fan.

He had finally calculated that the Cubs would win the Series.

"I take it your team lost again!"

The Flying Pig: Free drinks (if England win on penalties)

David Ortiz a.k.a Big Papi

"If the Ref doesn't give that, it's the end of football!"

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

'Sorry Alf...the telly is bust.'

Monster Club. It's difficult to get this entire group to a ball game. Yeah, Dracula will go only on bat day. King Kong has to be in the upper deck. Jekyll and Hyde only go to double-headers. There must be a full moon for the werewolf to go. And of course The Hulk will only sit atop the Fenway Park left field wall. Yeah, he loves the green monster! Red Sox.

'He's been this way since the Red Sox won the pennant!'

"May the best team win and could we please get through this game without some kind of controversy?"

"My husband is a football fan."

1 (degree). Would you stop reminding us how cold it is?

"How old were you before you discovered our football song wasn't the national anthem?"

Red Sox Fans vs The Rest Of Humanity

"Your depression isn't caused by anything physical. I suggest you root for another pro sports team."

The Ekert Saga: '...We have reports from the northeast that contentment might be breaking out...'

'When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high...'

Stoop Fan

Grimly Town F.C. - 'Club Scarf Now Slightly Wider!'

"I love the change of seasons too, baseball, football, basketball and hockey season."

' Come on ump! That's two in a row! Hello?...Mr. Umpire?'

'Football season - time for the rubber-coated safety remote!'

'I can't afford a season ticket and clothes.'

"I'm a foul weather fan."

I, Maryanne, promise to see all of your games in sickness or in health, for richer or for poorer, until death do I watch.

'If you really loved me you would make love to me during Monday night football!'

Reality Football

"Depressed, anxious, unsure about the future...It's very common for people in your position, have you thought about supporting a different team?"

Highlights from when the team didn't stink...