Red Sox Diehard Gifts

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

No Baseball

"Goal!"

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'...I mean, kicked out of the game is serious, but kicked off the planet?'

"I take it your team lost again!"

The Flying Pig: Free drinks (if England win on penalties)

"If the Ref doesn't give that, it's the end of football!"

David Ortiz a.k.a Big Papi

'Sorry Alf...the telly is bust.'

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

"May the best team win and could we please get through this game without some kind of controversy?"

"My husband is a football fan."

"Your depression isn't caused by anything physical. I suggest you root for another pro sports team."

"How old were you before you discovered our football song wasn't the national anthem?"

Red Sox Fans vs The Rest Of Humanity

Stoop Fan

Reality Football

I, Maryanne, promise to see all of your games in sickness or in health, for richer or for poorer, until death do I watch.

Grimly Town F.C. - 'Club Scarf Now Slightly Wider!'

' Come on ump! That's two in a row! Hello?...Mr. Umpire?'

'I can't afford a season ticket and clothes.'

"I'm a foul weather fan."

"I love the change of seasons too, baseball, football, basketball and hockey season."

'If you really loved me you would make love to me during Monday night football!'

'Football season - time for the rubber-coated safety remote!'

"Depressed, anxious, unsure about the future...It's very common for people in your position, have you thought about supporting a different team?"

Highlights from when the team didn't stink...