Recycling Comedian Gifts

Recycling bottle bank.

"Receptacle Number 4 please..."

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'It's an extinction notice.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

'...and this is the water garden...'

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Where's my global warming?

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

This is where Brent council sends you

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

"This is a terrible table!"

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

Eat your salad. Blurg! Now! Quick! Put it into my bag! Finito. Mother! You've started up your compost pile, haven't you? You make it sound so rotten!

"Rising sea levels."

"One man's garbage is another man's best friend's treasure..."

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

Paper Bath Towels.

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

Will work for manure.

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.

You Are Here.

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"