Recruitment Guru Gifts

"Can I call you back? I'm still recovering from a night of binge hiring."

"I think we might already have lost the next set of graduates, they don't see us offering a career path..."

"How come some media companies are so shy of web recruitment?" "Anorak-naphobia?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

Target your customer.

'How about a toast to my breakthrough?!'

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Bob thinks his new neighbor may be bad for business.

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

"...It's come to my attention you've been taking my calls."

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

'You're on the shortlist. It's between you and the bloke who's going to get the job.'

A close shave on the Titanic...

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

'I'm sorry, but you have a very impressive resume, and at this company, we find competence threatening.'

"I'm afraid we have very little in the salary range you're accustomed to."

"My word, this really is impressive! Lots of people have a personal trainer but a personal wine advisor, wow!"

"Maybe we'd do better if we called ourselves 'baristas'."

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

'I'd like to help you, but I never leave the office.'

'You'll be starting out at the bottom.'

'... No, you're not on the short list. You're not even on the long list.'

'Any recommendations besides these report cards saying you work well with others?'

There's going to be a lot of this around here.

'right, make sure any new companies we acquire have an ageing workforce'

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

Your resume is only 8 words long! You're hired!

'We're looking for someone who can multitask - but not during the interview.'

'I think scroll sounds better than 'continuous media,''

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'