Career Guru Gifts

"Imagine you're interviewing for a job, and the interviewer asks you a series of asinine hypothetical questions. How would you react?"

"My word, this really is impressive! Lots of people have a personal trainer but a personal wine advisor, wow!"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

The MBA Draft

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Sir Winston Churchill

Here and There Trays

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

The Dubloon Stops Here

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

Teamwork!

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

Career opportunities

"My best managerial trait is that I dig for answers until I get them between my teeth. My worst trait is that sometimes I bury them."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

'Instead of a raise, Yomp, you may call me 'Chief', instead of Mr Staghorn.'

"Uh-Oh..."

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

'I had to overcome stereotypical misunderstandings about who makes a good leader.'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof