Workplace Guru Gifts

There's going to be a lot of this around here.

Suggestion Box: Get back to work.

'Hargreaves - I understand you have an idea for improving staff morale?'

"When I said you're doing a hell of a job, Krueger, I didn't mean it as a compliment!"

'If I were you I'd spend most of my time trying to be someone else.'

'I'd like to help you, but I never leave the office.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

The MBA Draft

Sir Winston Churchill

Here and There Trays

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

The Dubloon Stops Here

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

Teamwork!

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

Career opportunities

"My best managerial trait is that I dig for answers until I get them between my teeth. My worst trait is that sometimes I bury them."

"Uh-Oh..."

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'Instead of a raise, Yomp, you may call me 'Chief', instead of Mr Staghorn.'