Career Advancement Guru Gifts

"As you know we are one of the leaders in our field, and if that doesn't intimidate you enough, I've asked Ron from accounts to stare at you while we speak!"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

In basket-case.

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

Others will fight for you

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

Working hours.

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

CEO du Jour

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

The Evolution of the Bonus

"My making two million a year, …. It doesn't make me seem 'Mannish', does it?"

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

'Congratulations on breaking through the glass ceiling of the company downstairs. However, I will be sending you a repair bill.'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'