Recorder Rookie Gifts

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

'First of all, relax.'

Einstein's Theory of Relativity For Dummies

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'I hereby sentence you to 40 years labor in an office with fluorescent lighting, just enough salary to keep you alive...'

'Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs!'

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

"That's great that you're on 8 different social media sites, but how are you at bank reconciliations, accounts payable, and working?"

In-Tray, Out-Tray and Lost.

"So...have you ever kissed a girl before?"

yesterday i brought my son this magic set and...

'There are only two things stopping you from being a good dancer, Mr. Jones. Your feet!'

'Such a friendly new neighbour, Cecil - we've been invited to something called a rave-up tonight!'

New Attorney.

'Yes, this is my first time at speed dating. Is it that obvious?'

"I'll kiss you later. Catch! I meant catch you later!"

"He's quick with the birds and the bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears. . ."

'I thought I'd try making marmalade. Do we have any marmals?'

"Hey, not bad! You sound like a real couple already!"

'They've got $5 tables everywhere here. Where do you feel the luckiest?'

"I'm still trying to get used to ordering food online."

It's so frustrating! They always stop acting evil the minute you start recording.

Pinterest shaming

'Son, you just got your first credit card and you're going on a date. My advice: keep it in your pants.'

"Not only do we not know how to turn it off, we also don't know how to dispose of it when it burns out."

Well, maybe you can find a do-it-yourself Youtube video showing a husband taking the clothes to the laundromat.

'Could I have a receipt for this please?'

'You don't have to get your receipts laminated, Mr. Streitfeld.'

'This is too complicated. I think I'll just hold on to my waste and hope it eventually disintegrates.'

"Look lady, try and get it straight. It's tin cans, glass bottles or newspapers!"

"Baldo, a young man like you might have a lot of questions...about feelings, emotions...not knowing what is right and wrong. Remember, mi'jo...I'm here if you need me."

"So...how'd you like your first kiss?"

'You should know my dad's a referee, He has access to instant replay,'

'Which side would you like me to drive on today?'

"This one is for teaching General Farkas how to use Snapchat."