Rebel Storyteller Gifts

'It's my free-will, mother, and I'll surrender it to whomever I please.'

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

"I gotta be me!"

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Letters escape from a caged book.

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

Fishbowl rebellion.

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

Why Ask Nicely When You Have Tear Gas?

"Question authority"

"Hmmm... there's something not right here..."

Hell's Schlegel

My dad's doing flowers for a huge sweet 16 party. Everyone's invited except me! Who cares? It's probably some loser who couldn't get anyone to come over without going over the top. Thanks, Em! You know what's important. Plus! We'll figure out whose party it is and crash it! You're my spiritual guide.

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

Reading

"I feel your writing style is a bit old-school."

"I heard someone was looking for a dungeon master."

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

Rebels without a magic marker

'Underground cartoonist'

'Did you remove all the cliches and slang from your term paper?', 'Like, totally, dude!'

Sculptor's dedication to critics.

Santa Sucks

"Sorry - we don't stock religious titles in case it offends some of our customers."

Where the wild things do graffiti

'Wee Orlando just tagged his first bus shelter.' 'That's ma boy.'

'Sure it's an impressive collection. Too bad they're all overdue library books.'

"Yes, they're all blank. The art of omission, you see."

BOOKSHOP, 'Are you sure you want that, sir? - You don't really look like the Tom Clancy type.'

Young Che Guevara contemplates a career in t-shirt design.

"He's always had a fascination with the hard drinking,hard living writer,the tortured genius. It's an image he's tried to emulate. Unfortunately he's only ever managed the first two parts." "I can't <hic> feel my face."

'We'd like a book banned in 23 countries, please!'

"Hold on, Mrs. Martin, you know that book is not on the approve curriculum!!"