Reality Tv Realist Gifts

I saw a headline that said that bears are lazy and I'd like to think that when I watch reality TV I'm connecting with nature.

'The following program was made possible by canceling an even WORSE program.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

"Do you, Halfomild Tellycelebrtipewhoo-hoo, promise to brush up on matters such as the Hadron Collider?"

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

A couple decides what to watch.

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

TV and cleaner

Derren Brown: Pushed to the Edge

America's funniest election gaffes

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

Jerry Springer of biblical times.

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'You're not being fired Jenkins. It's just that all our colleagues have booted you out of the company.'

X Factor contestant dressed as a 'Y'.