Realist With A Twist Gifts

ACME COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'She should be attractive, intelligenty, charming, and funny, or best offer.

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"It's a Wonderful Life" if it was written by scientists.

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

"Now at this point reality intruded."

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The little engine who could, but decided not to- 'Ah, the heck with it!'

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

No crawling sign in the desert.

Rural Cityscape

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"That's my survival kit. It has a meditation tape, aspirin and rose-coloured glasses."

"It's no good, Martin, it's still in the room."

"That's Terri and Kip. . . our Imaginators. And over here is Al. He's our Get-real-inator."

'It's very realistic, Katie. It comes equipped with plenty of redtape!'

"You can be anything!". . . "Take whatever you can get."

'Love gets the credit, but money makes the world go 'round.'

Japanese disaster

'Have ideals, fine - bit never let them cloud your business judgement.'

'Yeah, I couldn't make a lousy cent for days and I don't care about it! Got me, dude?'

'The worst part is, we've never had it so good.'

"As a Senior Citizen applying for this job, where do YOU see yourself in 5 years?"