Reading Aficionados Gifts

"This isn't working out - I'm an earthworm and you're a....are you even listening to me?"

"Yo, novella!"

"Meet The Author"

Victor Hugo

Reading my Critics

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Gunter Grass

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Stephen Spender.

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'Meet the author with her collaborators'

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

'He was a great writer'

Tequila Mockingbird

Noel Coward.

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

Ironing Punctuation

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

My Literary Influences

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

Sherlock Holmes Museum: No Hounds.

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

"Your appendix is fine. It's your glossary I'm worried about."

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'