Reading About Atheism Gifts

"I know what I look like. But I'm an atheist, and I reject your theocentric nomenclature."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

'I'm an atheist!'

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"Nonsense - we're far less religious than you are."

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

'But everybody does that stuff!'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

The Incredible Shrinking Room

'I propose a day of mild exasperation in response to Richard Dawkins.'

Hamlet.

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

Not so heavenly

Atheist United - A Non-Prophet Organization

Professor Stephen Hawking

'Jesus? Jesus who?'

"And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin..."

"Any church that requires a fire hydrant is admitting it's a fraud."

'Of course there's a Richard Dawkins! Who do you thin changes the water?'

"We matter!"

"Why does your all-knowing, all-powerful god need marketing?"

'Oh my god!'

Queequeg: Master Harpoonist and Social Director, USS Pequod.

On the buses...I stopped off for a beer and back rub.

What's the matter, baby? Henry says he's an atheist, Mum. He doesn't believe in hell. Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is.

"I think you've got the wrong person - I'm an atheist."

"I think it means this is how they treat you 'In Rhode Island'."

'My Atheist blog has developed a cult following. If that's not ironic, I don't know what is.'