Reader Of Quirky Cartoons Gifts

"Noah, we forgot the kitty litter."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

"I think he just ashed on me."

"We disagree with the president - we kinda like Robin Hood - we take from everyone and keep it - how much more successful can you get?"

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'What doctors really write on prescriptions.'

'I'm here for the organ transplant.'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

The Trickledown Effect

'Now then, let me explain the rules of this therapy.'

'I would suggest a Cabernet Sauvignon. It's non habit forming. I should know. I've been drinking a glass every day for twenty years.'

"The patient in 402 appears to be exhibiting anxiety symptoms, Doctor."

'Bad news! We're hamsters!'

The New A*****e

I'm afraid doctor-patient confidentiality prevents me from saying if your brother cried like a baby during his flu shot.

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

Cat being licked by plant.

M.D. I suppose that will be okay, but no more milk and cookies starting tomorrow.

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

'I hear you're quite an advocate of group therapy.'

Susie's single status had spread to her socks.

"I'm suffering from TeaParytyitis."

'He thinks he's the cat's meow ever since he was made department head.'

Minister's File

Welcome to old age - I come up seven or eight times a night to empty my blowhole, too.

"You have natural causes.''

Jim Jr. never felt like he fit in with the rest of his family.

Caution: Falling Businessmen - A Sign of the Times

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”