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"Noah, we forgot the kitty litter."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

"We disagree with the president - we kinda like Robin Hood - we take from everyone and keep it - how much more successful can you get?"

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"I think he just ashed on me."

'What doctors really write on prescriptions.'

'I'm here for the organ transplant.'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'I hear you're quite an advocate of group therapy.'

'Now then, let me explain the rules of this therapy.'

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

'Bad news! We're hamsters!'

The New A*****e

The Trickledown Effect

Cat being licked by plant.

"The patient in 402 appears to be exhibiting anxiety symptoms, Doctor."

'I would suggest a Cabernet Sauvignon. It's non habit forming. I should know. I've been drinking a glass every day for twenty years.'

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

"It started with a few grey hares in my 20's and they kept showing up."

Jim Jr. never felt like he fit in with the rest of his family.

'He thinks he's the cat's meow ever since he was made department head.'

Susie's single status had spread to her socks.

"You have natural causes.''

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

Minister's File

Caution: Falling Businessmen - A Sign of the Times

"They just love tassels."

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."