Ranch Dressing Aficionado Gifts

"I didn't know you liked ranch so much."

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

Bubble Gum Farms.

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

Girl in cow onesie.

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

Ranch Dressing

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

'He's on steeroids.'

"He may be all hat and no cattle, but you've got to love the hat."

'I'm a fat cattle buyer.'

Western Philosophy

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

'Those Texas Longhorns are sure good mothers, Doc.'

Daisy was adamant she was not going to give any of her milk away today!

"Yep, I agree: It's pure torture when he plays his harmonica around the campfire..."

A short legged lady bug is among long legged ones.

"Can I help it if my shoes don't last?"

"They've just got a better grade of weed over there!"

"You must have given him a lot of fertilizer."

'Italian, Russian or Ranch?'

Bovine Adrenaline Junkies.

"You gelded my cows?!"

'... And don't worry. Lots of cowboys walk that way.'