Ranch Dressing Aficionado Gifts

"I didn't know you liked ranch so much."

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

Girl in cow onesie.

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

Ranch Dressing

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

'I'm a fat cattle buyer.'

'He's on steeroids.'

"He may be all hat and no cattle, but you've got to love the hat."

Western Philosophy

'Those Texas Longhorns are sure good mothers, Doc.'

A short legged lady bug is among long legged ones.

Daisy was adamant she was not going to give any of her milk away today!

"Can I help it if my shoes don't last?"

"Yep, I agree: It's pure torture when he plays his harmonica around the campfire..."

"They've just got a better grade of weed over there!"

"You must have given him a lot of fertilizer."

'... And don't worry. Lots of cowboys walk that way.'

"One horsepower, and yours?"

Bovine Adrenaline Junkies.

'Italian, Russian or Ranch?'

'Yes, I am looking for an experienced cattleman.'