Ranch Dressing Enthusiast Gifts

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

Ranch Dressing

"I didn't know you liked ranch so much."

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

Cowboy Slippers

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

'I'm a fat cattle buyer.'

"You're wearing it backwards."

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

'He's on steeroids.'

Western Philosophy

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

'Those Texas Longhorns are sure good mothers, Doc.'

'You reckon' you'll ever try chewin' on somethin' else?'

Cowboy with hat out Title: 'Homeless on the Range'

"Can I help it if my shoes don't last?"

A short legged lady bug is among long legged ones.

Botox!

Daisy was adamant she was not going to give any of her milk away today!