Ranch Dressing Enthusiast Pillows

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

Ranch Dressing

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

"I didn't know you liked ranch so much."

Cowboy Slippers

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

'He's on steeroids.'

"You're wearing it backwards."

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

Western Philosophy

'I'm a fat cattle buyer.'

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

'Well any Pal o' yours is a pal o' mine.'

'Those Texas Longhorns are sure good mothers, Doc.'

Cowboy with hat out Title: 'Homeless on the Range'

"Can I help it if my shoes don't last?"

"The working conditions don't bother me half so much as the retirement plan."

"Yep, I agree: It's pure torture when he plays his harmonica around the campfire..."

A short legged lady bug is among long legged ones.