Radio Enthusiasts Gifts

"Today on 'all things considered': a tree, bowling, the space-time continuum, large hats, David Duchovny, undercooked Lentils, parachutes, and the color maroon."

Welcome to Ask Sadie. You're on, Santa Cruz. What's your problem? I feel like something wonderful is about to end. Excellent question. That reminds me of the time great, great, great, great, great Grandma Cohen was a weather forecaster in France. The year was 1812 ... A short Frenchman with a spit-curl summoned her to his chateau on the outskirts of Versailles. He said "Tell me, witch, how will the weather be in Russia this year?" She took offense to being called a witch, so after consulting her

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! I'm thinking of moving to Canada. Nothing in this country ever goes my way. We have no national health insurance, no gun control, no high-speed moose network … Go to Canada, then! Who needs you, you whiner? America's national pastime is complaining. If you don't want to stay and enjoy the game, who needs you?! I've never been into sports.

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?" "Brexit." "It was historic. I'm old enough to remember before the European Union existed. I witnessed its creation. But now it's fallen apart and well then what I witnessed wasn't all that historic after all." "Way to make it all about you." "It's like it was all just one big tease."

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

Wake up! Book at bedtime has finished, you can go to bed.

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

'I can't receive FM-signals, but the conversations on the ships' long-wave radios break the monotony...'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"Are there people who don't live in London?"

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

Pre-Television Man Caves

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

Non Thought For The Day.

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

Boombox

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

Sports Radio in Crisis

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Larry King

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

Not-so-easy listening...

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'I'm Bored'

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

'I think I've found what's causing the radio's funny buzzing sound.'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. I'll tell you how to fix your hopeless relationship or cope with all the people at work who really are better than you. Then I'll berate you for not manning up and dealing with it on your own instead of bugging me about it! Los Angeles, CA, you're on. What's your problem? Click.

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"

"Ray Brown on bass, Elvin Jones on drums, and Alan Greenspan on interest rates."

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'