Radio Enthusiast Gifts

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

Wireless Access Here.

'A sure-win radio talk show. People phone in with questions on existence and reality, and you respond with total silence.'

Doctor to mom about kid: 'Hey - 104.5? Your kid's temperature happens to be my favorite radio station!'

Feelings towards radios #3 Man kissing a radio.

'I repeat: Charlie, Golf, X-ray, Yankee, Zulu, Romeo, Juilet, Whiskey, Kilo...'

"Hello! Go ahead, Syracuse, New York."

'After listening to NPR, this jelly donut tastes more like a multi-grain bagel.'

'I'm Bored'

'Shopping forecast'

"Longtime listeners, first-time callers."

"That's not my political opinion. That's just stuff I hear on the radio."

"Now, here's a new group on a real small label, and I'm going to lay it on your strictly 'cause I dig it."

"No - I'm not listening to my radio!"

The reception here is awful!

Wind-up Radio

'It's more interesting as a radio play.'

"I wasn't concentrating, I was listening to the Archers"

'Thanks to talk radio, he can argue all by himself.'

"It's from that Alastair Cooke again"

John Peel

Silence - Except for librarians listening to radio two.

Who's on line one?

This has been a test. If this had been an actual emergency - you'd be dead. (radio warning broadcast)

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

"I don't show up here as much as I'd like, Doctor, but I always try to catch your stuff on the air."

"First time, long time."

Road, Sky, Land, Radio, You - Next 300 Miles

Ira Glass

"Three tones will follow. Then there will be some buzzing noises, a woman giggling, and the incomparable Louis Armstrong singing 'I'll be glad when you're dead, you rascal you.' The woman giggling marks the correct time."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"We just don't seem to be on the same wavelength anymore."

"Caller, let me stop you right there. Your problem is you're a doormat! You need to march right back in there and tell him you don't take orders from any man, and if he wants dinner he can fix it himself!"

"What do you mean 'Get her to stop'?...Your baby's a human being and she already has things she wants to tell you. Crying is the only language she knows. Just hold her tell her 'I hear you'...and grow a thicker skin! Baby tears aren't little grenades, loser!"

"If I cooked a . . . cake. . . and then hackers got mad and broke into my system and caused havoc and so I withdrew the .... cake.....from the market. How could I regain my image as a bold....cake....maker?....Your show doesn't air in North Korea, does it?"