Radio Aficionado Gifts

"The new manager hasn't much experience of radio production"

". . . and I leave my whole estate to my one true companion, public radio."

'Oooh, looks like a broken leg for Randolph - broken legs are brought to you by Altrion Orthopedics Incorporated...'

'Celebrate good times, come on...!'

"Ray Brown on bass, Elvin Jones on drums, and Alan Greenspan on interest rates."

'I can't find any 'roundup' music on the radio.'

Pre-Television Man Caves

Caller 666

David Mellor

Woman on rocking chair listening to the radio

'...I just have a general mistrust of people.'

'Desert Island Discs'

Chris Evans

'How am I? How long have you got?!'

'In my day, the only thing that was trending was 'Murry the K' on AM and FM radio in New York City.'

Cubans sit down to debate on the radio.

"That Steve Wright must be nearly as old as me."

Man Has A Complaint About His Solar-Powered Radio

Unsound

George Noory

"This is WYOU the station that broadcasts your thoughts live all day long..."

'Where will YOU be when your laxative starts working?'

On the air: Clown squirts Glenn Beck

'Do you prefer sedentary rock or Jurassic fm?'

Grocery shopper sees TV Dinners and Radio Dinners

I'll be singing, but Ted here will come down on the half hour to read the news.

The bad news is that I'm picking up a radio station in your chest

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

Starting today, I am expanding my award-winning radio advice show to cyberspace. If you want advice, send me an email with your question: asksadieshow@gmail.com. If I'm inclined, I respond right here. I will do my best to treat your questions with the disdain and ridicule that you deserve. Don't be shy you @#$% losers! Now that is what I call a marketing message.

"Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's you problem?! Kanye West said he's running for president in 2020, and I don't know whether to weep or move to Canada. Canada! Canada! Canada! Everybody always wants to move to Canada whenever they think the USA has taken a turn for the worse! None of you lily-livered quitters could stand a single Canadian winter, let alone stare down a moose at six paces. You want Canada? You can't handle Canada! How tall is a moose?

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "John Miller" in New York, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. My problem is tremendous. It's so big it's unbelievable: Why is crooked Hillary even allowed to run for president? She should be behind bars, in my totally impartial opinion. I know it's you, Trump! I'm not Trump. Would I love to be Trump? Of course! Who wouldn't?! Trump makes tremendous things happen for everyone who's fantastically lucky enough to be around him. Stop calling me,

"Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! Being a high school student is literally killing me. I sit all day at school, and I sit all evening doing my homework. Stop yer sniveling!!! Every student since the beginning of time has had to deal with this problem. Yes, you're sitting all day. But like any other teenager, you should be burning thousands of calories anyway. The eye-rolling alone should burn up to 473 calories per hour. Pick up the pace, slacker!!!

On today's "Ask Sadie" Radio Hour, we'll talk about the elephant in the room: Hillary Clinton's age. And Bernie's too. Forget all this PC nonsense, I'll just come right out and say it: Their age disqualifies them. These children don't know anything about life. I bet they haven't even gotten their first hip replacement yet. Nice to know we'll always be young to somebody. Earth is young to her.

"And now here's another ditty from the imperialist Yankee dogs, bubbling just under the Hot One Hundred."

A crowd stands outside the "Radio City" theater; a sign posted on the theater reads "No Radio".