Radio Show Aficionado Gifts

'Hello,'Gardeners' Question Time'?'

'A good question. Actually I got into business when some conservationists up in Canada tagged me with a tiny radio transmitter.'

Welcome to the "Ask Sadie" radio hour. You're on, Detroit. What's your problem?! I just got popped for speeding. $300 ticket. I just found out that Congress paid out millions of taxpayer dollars to settle their own sexual harassment cases. Why do I have to pay when I do something wrong, but when congressmen do something wrong, I still have to pay? This reminds me of the time I didn't care what the caller had to say.

Welcome to the Sadie Cohen Radio Advice Hour. What's your dumb question? Just a comment. Wanted to let you know that Simon Cowell from America's got talent is far more brutal than you. Are you kidding? I'd crush that pulphead you idiotic #$%^ whining weasel. Nope. He's still got you. It's war.

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

Murderers, rapists, arsonists, radio DJs who talk over the beginnings and ends of songs.

'... And now for this week's episode of, 'the fallen arches'.'

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

Pre-Television Man Caves

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

Night Life: L.A.

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

Spike Milligan

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

'I'm Bored'

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

'I think I've found what's causing the radio's funny buzzing sound.'

'The way I see it, with all the talk shows out there, nobody needs a wife!'

What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? What's with that senseless riot in Baltimore? What do you mean? America has a long history of self-destructive riots in response to police brutality. It's senseless to call it senseless. A city is like a human body. If you feed a body an awful diet of abuse and unaccountable cops, that body's eventually going to have a massive coronary. In short: Learn your history! And eat oatmeal! Oat ... What? What are you talking about?

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

Talkshow Scheduling Dept. I scheduled a guest how a book advocating a strong military position. You booked a hawk who's hawking a book!

"I've seen your latest project and I must say, it really stinks. I mean, it is utterly putrid. It totally reeks."

'He's got a lot of talent and everything, but I just don't think he's cut out for talk radio.'

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

Health news - hearing loss is irrelevant.

"Ray Brown on bass, Elvin Jones on drums, and Alan Greenspan on interest rates."

Sally Jessy Raphael

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"