Talk Show Aficionado Gifts

'Do you think we need more conversation in our relationship?'

'My credentials? Well, I once sat through a taping of the Dr. Phil show.'

'He's got a lot of talent and everything, but I just don't think he's cut out for talk radio.'

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

Russell Harty

Katie Couric- Talk Hostess

"I've seen your latest project and I must say, it really stinks. I mean, it is utterly putrid. It totally reeks."

Chat Show I suppose you've got something to plug.

'I just had to stop watching Oprah - She was trying to dominate my life.'

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Joy Behar?'

'We'll need a bigger studio- Rosie wants to interview Rush Limbaugh.'

Tonight's Talk Out Topic is non-verbal communication

"Yound dogs in deep trouble! Next on 'Bonzo'... - "These days EVERYBODY has a talk show!"

'True atonement is something deeper than appearing with Oprah.'

It's the same old story...boy meets girl, boy loses girl, girl rips boy to pieces on a nationally syndicated talk show!

The talk show mergers.

"Mr. Jerry Springer - have I got something for you!"

David Letterman

Jay Leno

'The way I see it, with all the talk shows out there, nobody needs a wife!'

'Bailiff, there's a fight in the jury room. Someone turned off Dr. Phil.'

Oprah Winfrey

Koko and Trump

"And now...here to spew his unique brand of unhinged babble and utter nonsense, let's welcome my guest..."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

"Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! I earn $80k, and I just got a side gig that'll pay me $38k. But my tax guy says that'll make me owe $30k extra in taxes! So for all this extra work I'm doing, I'll only take home about $8,000! What's the point of even trying to get ahead?! Excellent question. It reminds me of the time my pa worked his entire life away in a coal mine in return for a burlap sack and one monthly chicken. Stop yer sniveling, you pampered princess!!!

"First time, long time."

"I understand you spent the summer on someone's ass. Can you tell us what that was like?"

"You won't find Miss Miriam Hirschman an easy nut to crack, Mr. Leno."

"Your case has been turned down by Oprah, but we're appealing to Sally Jessy Raphael."

Night Life: L.A.

"Our panel today includes Hurley Throod, the opinionated Washington bureau chief; Dennis Wurtner, the lightweight TV commentator; Marsha Boyle, the contentious syndicated columnist; and Sydney H. Hall, the self-styled political expert."

This call may be recorded and used in a podcast.

"It says here that we were once married. Can you tell us what that was like?"