Late-night Talk Show Enthusiast Gifts

'So which camp are you in, Conan or Leno?'

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

'Has Oprah ever been married?'

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

Night Life: L.A.

Men discussing a book on a chat show

Dr. Kapuchnik, I notice that you've been quoting Dr. Phil a lot lately. That's because I'm hoping that if he sees me sucking up to him in the comics, he'll bankroll the TV-show proposal I sent to his production company, Gasbag Enterprises.

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

Jerry Springer

'The way I see it, with all the talk shows out there, nobody needs a wife!'

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. I'll tell you how to fix your hopeless relationship or cope with all the people at work who really are better than you. Then I'll berate you for not manning up and dealing with it on your own instead of bugging me about it! Los Angeles, CA, you're on. What's your problem? Click.

Talkshow Scheduling Dept. I scheduled a guest how a book advocating a strong military position. You booked a hawk who's hawking a book!

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

"I've seen your latest project and I must say, it really stinks. I mean, it is utterly putrid. It totally reeks."

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"

"Well I think the Real question is..."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

'He's got a lot of talent and everything, but I just don't think he's cut out for talk radio.'