Radio Show Enthusiast Gifts

"I tried 911. They're only accepting the seventh caller."

"It's the Dr. Sadie advice hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking nothing but Christmas-related calls."

'I've measured it -- she spends twice as much time on the phone as Rush Limbaugh does.'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

Pre-Television Man Caves

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

'I'm Bored'

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

Jerry Springer

'I think I've found what's causing the radio's funny buzzing sound.'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

"Ray Brown on bass, Elvin Jones on drums, and Alan Greenspan on interest rates."

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

Feelings towards radios #2 Picket signs with pictures of radios on them

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

The Great Larrynx

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

Randi Rhodes