Raceplace Joker Gifts

"The last one to The Four Seasons picks up the check."

'Your shoe's untied.'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Banana Split...

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

Man at computer at sports company wears sweat band on head.

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

Get crazy once in a while

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"Now you can send it."

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

'It appears you've done a wonderful job...of not getting fired.'

Jogging Bottoms

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

'....and that's our CEO. He's trying to find a corporate direction.'

"I'm a bit concerned the staff don't respect me, they've given me a nickname."

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'Doctor says I've got an enlarged procrastinate.'

'The position carries no health benefits but we do give you a mantra which you can recite daily to promote good health.'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'No, I did not have a good day at the office, you know that's against the rules.'

'I'll be a little late with those reports, sir -- my desk organizer crashed.'

Elevator charge $1.00.

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

I made JB laugh today - I asked him for a rise.

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'