Race Day Joker Gifts

'Your shoe's untied.'

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Jogging Bottoms

'Now will you pull over and ask for directions?'

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

Snowman Driver

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

"You idiots … we lost!"

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

False encouragement.

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

"Uh ho. It looks like the Ref's giving him the yellow vuvuzela."

Tred carefully mill.

Running With Scissors Marathon

'It's no use ... I'll never catch anyone. I can't even catch my breath.'

'I plucked myself. It reduces drag in the water.'

Two men are jogging. One is noticing 'Danger Wide Load' sign on back of other.

'Runners to your mark. Get set... wait! Lane three! Turn sideways!'

'Spinout!'

Do you really have to do that every time you make a good call? If refs acted like players.

"Sorry I'm late for your birthday. I'm running a little behind."

Caution: Jogger Makes Frequent Bathroom Stops

Exercise doesn't increase longevity --- It's well known that things with fewer moving parts last longer!

"My exercise routine appears to be working as long as I hang around fat people."

"The last one to The Four Seasons picks up the check."

Professor Axxis feels naked jogging without his toupee.

Just for laughs, let's throw a few folks off course.