Race Day Jokester Gifts

Racing Jesus

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"I hate this time of year."

Tortoise and hare on treadmills.

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"...They must be poor catchers, there's two men behind the plate."

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

'Think Basics.'

'Let him go. We'll catch him in the backstretch. Hippos can run faster than humans, but only in short bursts.'

'After the big race the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'They expect us to vote cold sober?'

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

'It's no use ... I'll never catch anyone. I can't even catch my breath.'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

Airport Security. I had to go through the security pat-down three times --- They had trouble believing this is just my body and I'm not hiding anything.

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

La Tour 2007.

"Hey, this is a marathon, not a sprint."

Speed enforced by really slow walkers.

'Runners to your mark. Get set... wait! Lane three! Turn sideways!'

Annual 10K Fun Run

Racers' Gate.

Your nose is running...which I guessing is more than I can say for your feet.

'Saint Francis changes his mind about animals'

Just for laughs, let's throw a few folks off course.

'What makes you so sure this is good for my health?'

Henry followed the dress code at inappropriate times.

Marathon runners in silly costumes.

Doctor Jekyll. Whenever I get stuck formulating my potion, I go jogging. You can run, but you can't Hyde!

After 10 years, the great potato race of 1997 was finally declared a tie.

"She may have an incredible body, but we have incredible ice cream."