Race Day Jokester Gifts

Racing Jesus

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"I hate this time of year."

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"...They must be poor catchers, there's two men behind the plate."

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

'Let him go. We'll catch him in the backstretch. Hippos can run faster than humans, but only in short bursts.'

'Think Basics.'

'After the big race the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'They expect us to vote cold sober?'

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

La Tour 2007.

'It's no use ... I'll never catch anyone. I can't even catch my breath.'

"Hey, this is a marathon, not a sprint."

Speed enforced by really slow walkers.

'Runners to your mark. Get set... wait! Lane three! Turn sideways!'

Henry followed the dress code at inappropriate times.

Your nose is running...which I guessing is more than I can say for your feet.

'Saint Francis changes his mind about animals'

Just for laughs, let's throw a few folks off course.

'What makes you so sure this is good for my health?'

Annual 10K Fun Run

Marathon runners in silly costumes.

Racers' Gate.

After 10 years, the great potato race of 1997 was finally declared a tie.

"She may have an incredible body, but we have incredible ice cream."

'Obesity runs in my family...Actually, it shuffles in my family.'