Race Day Warrior Gifts

Bicycle race.

Shin splints. Next 5 miles.

Porcupines finally discover something to do besides just waddling around.

Computer Room.

'Your shoe's untied.'

A day at the races

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

Woman leaves dog in rain...he gets into a car to wait in the dry.

'Now will you pull over and ask for directions?'

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

Two Men Angler's In A Storm.

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

He tried to be positive, no matter the atmosphere.

"Damn! I keep waking up in the middle of the day."

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

Do not feed the clerks.

Bradley Wiggins

'Oh come on, we all have our crosses to bear.'

'What the hell is that guy's problem?'

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

"Lunchward ho!"

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

"I hope your day is going bad."

"The meeting's over but it's so close to the end of the day. Let's just use our collective inertia and run out the clock."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Fishing - No. IV

'Sleeping through Monday is the coward's way out!'

"Watch him. His body says Monday but his face says Friday."

'Get me a match! The pilot light in our competitive fire is out!'

'At 11:00 you'll be putting your right hand in. At 11:01 you'll take it out, put it back in and at 11:02, shake it all about...'

'Wednesday wave.'

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

"Tuesday mornings don't get enough respect. They should be hated just as much as Monday mornings."