Quote Shocker Gifts

"I got whiplash when I recoiled from your quote."

Historical memory is on life support.

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"Say hello to my little friend."

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.

Macbeth: Take Two

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

'Now I am become life, creator of worlds."

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, in all the solar systems, in all the galaxies, in all the universe, she walks into mine.

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

"I strongly encourage you Winds to 'roll with it'. I would hate to see you become part of the Gulf Stream... if you know what I mean."

"Finally, a succinct corporate mission statement."

The Quotable Ben Franklin. To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals. And not flying thy kite during thunderstorms might help, too!

"As Maggie Thatcher once said: 'Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.'"

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

'Can I have some of your peanut butter and jelly sandwich? All my mom ever gives me is cake.'

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

The Nihilist Deli.

"In the future, son, everyone will be an attorney for fifteen minutes."

''Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense' Thomas Huxley, 1825-1895.'

National Security Agency. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Entrance. I doubt they mean that in the same way Socrates did!

'You can't fool all of the people all of the time...not on our advertising budget.'

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"The truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!"

"Did Yogi Berra ever say anything besides 'It ain't over till it's over'?"

"Remember you have nothing to fear but fear itself, and me of course!"

Language of politics.

Amnesia Support Group: Meeting Today!

'You can't handle the truth.' - Scene from 'Do these pants make me look fat' starring Jack Nioholson

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. For dogs maybe, but not for cats.