Quote Fanatic Gifts

The Quotable Ben Franklin. To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals. And not flying thy kite during thunderstorms might help, too!

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

Campaign for Plain English

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

The Fourth Little Pig

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

The tooth fairy.

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

Dragon Hair-dryer.

Lady of the bath...

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

More Reasons To Beware Of Dog

"It turns out that if you give a hundred monkeys a hundred typewriters, eventually they'll turn out the work of Tarantino."

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

Boy and Bear and Monster

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

What's an Imax cave?

Warrior Woman

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

Newt sale

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Werewolves of London..."

Giant reptiles use building as a pinata.