Quiz Show Champion Gifts

'Could I buy a vowel, Pat?'

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

Before the Internet

The First Annual Game Show Week.

Senior Jeopardy!

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

At the celebrity jobcentre...

"Next riddle without looking it up, can you tell me which is the routing number and which is the account?"

"Perhaps we'd be more likely to reach an agreement if the British delegate would stop shouting 'Deal or no deal' all the time."

Academic Jeopardy - "Reality divided by two gives us this truth."

Alternative Game Shows: Shooting Stars

"Can you tell the class how you spell Albuquerque?"

I lost as a contestant on the quiz show, but they gave me this lovely parting gift...

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

And that's why I'm still single!

Universe Challenge

'How can I enjoy 'Jeopardy' when she keeps blurting out the answers?'

"No conifering, please."

'And your specialist subject is the Invisible Man films?'

"I'm sorry, 'Because I said so' is not an acceptable answer."

"Angry or Hangry?

'Hi Peter, it's Chris Tarrant here, from 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?''

"errrm..I think I'll phone a friend."

Bob finally catches a break.