Quitting Journeyer Gifts

'You're meant to take the nicotine patches off after you've used them.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

The Lost World: You are Here

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!"

The Paper Route

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Student Debt

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

"My diet book is outselling yours."

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

'Our fifteenth anniversary -- the adventure continues!'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."

Alf and Misery Guts

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

Yoga. Welcome back! Thank you. Why did you stop coming? I couldn't decide if I liked yoga, or

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

"Well we COULD tell people to eat less and exercise more, but where's the money in that?"

'I know we're not 'almost there,' but I keep asking just to keep her focused.'

"I can fit you into a small cubicle on the third floor if you think you can lose twenty pounds."