Quirky Transplant Patient Gifts

"We'll be using a pig's kidney in the transplant....Suit yourself, we'll try a turnip, good luck with that!"

'This test doesn't understand me.'

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Penguin Remote

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

Giraffe Selfie

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

"Good to have you aboard. Now, let's meet some of the oddballs weirdos and eccentrics you'll be working with."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"I didn't raise my hand. I was just stretching."

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

Cow with Hay In Tray and Milk Out Tray.

Essay Paper.

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

Physics 101. An object in motion remaining in motion is an example of what law? Easy come, easy go!

"My Lord, you said you'd walk with me, but I only see one set of footprints."

If it's any consolation, you burned the bejeezus out of his finger.

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

'Stop worrying, he said he's bring his new friend he's met recently.'

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

Mum, Dad, I've met something...