Quirky Plant Person Gifts

Planties

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Did I show you my new climbing hydrangea plants, Mr. Fessler?... Mr. Fessler?"

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Hardy Annuals

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

Planting Bird Seed.

Industrial Beautification van

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'It's a clear case of dehydration.'

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

"I dread these W.I. meetings

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

'I tried to tell him I didn't think it was a tomato.'

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

"The cat was there."

"Now, that's my kind of gardener: somebody who grows dandelions! I love dandelions..."

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

Clown watering his flowers.

"Hey. What are you doing to that card?"

Football fan

Cactus Man.