Prickly Plant Person Gifts

Cactus Man.

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

"Did I show you my new climbing hydrangea plants, Mr. Fessler?... Mr. Fessler?"

Hardy Annuals

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'It's a clear case of dehydration.'

"I dread these W.I. meetings

It's an unwritten law. Guys can like only two kinds of flowering plants - a cactus with thorns or that one that eats flies.

"Hey. What are you doing to that card?"

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

"Now, that's my kind of gardener: somebody who grows dandelions! I love dandelions..."

'I tried to tell him I didn't think it was a tomato.'

Three Circles of Gardener's Hell.

"I think it's a Spider Plant bite."

A Cactus warning His friends to put their branches up while a Human passes by.

Robert Plant.

'It's like this, Harry -- I'm in the full bloom of life, and I don't need any more of your fertilizer.'

'Then it's agreed. You give sun, water and carbon dioxide and in return, you get oxygen.'

'Try to remember what it said on the packet.'

'Say when.'

Mystery vegetable growing in plot.

Talk to your plants - but never enter a suicide pact with one.

"...Father Gill would not accept that whistling could not be a substitute for water."

'Try not to sit still for too long dear, the convulvulus is really rather virulent.'

Bonsai Gardener

"Daddy always begged me not to marry a cactus farmer!"

'Are You Still Experiencing Visual Disturbances?'

"Ever hear that sometimes you begin to resemble your plants?"

the spitting cactus...