Prickly Plant Person Gifts

Cactus Man.

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'It's a clear case of dehydration.'

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

"I dread these W.I. meetings

'I tried to tell him I didn't think it was a tomato.'

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

It's an unwritten law. Guys can like only two kinds of flowering plants - a cactus with thorns or that one that eats flies.

"Hey. What are you doing to that card?"

"Now, that's my kind of gardener: somebody who grows dandelions! I love dandelions..."

Three Circles of Gardener's Hell.

A Cactus warning His friends to put their branches up while a Human passes by.

'It's like this, Harry -- I'm in the full bloom of life, and I don't need any more of your fertilizer.'

"I think it's a Spider Plant bite."

'Then it's agreed. You give sun, water and carbon dioxide and in return, you get oxygen.'

'Say when.'

'Try to remember what it said on the packet.'

Mystery vegetable growing in plot.

'Try not to sit still for too long dear, the convulvulus is really rather virulent.'

Talk to your plants - but never enter a suicide pact with one.

"...Father Gill would not accept that whistling could not be a substitute for water."

Bonsai Gardener

'Are You Still Experiencing Visual Disturbances?'

Venus Fly Trap.

"Daddy always begged me not to marry a cactus farmer!"

"I'm sorry, but your bonsai triffid will have to go."