Prickly Personalities Gifts

"Daddy always begged me not to marry a cactus farmer!"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

I'm afraid neatness doesn't count, Mrs Wilson

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'By the way, dear - you have an appointment with the acupuncturist tomorrow.'

Real Estate Personals

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

Bald man with a brush on his head

Man is injured transporting cacti.

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

"Nah. I'm a crow. Some jerk put bleach in the birdbath."

"We're not all grim you know - I'm a happy reaper."

'He's very fussy about his food.'

Cactus Man.

"I'm sorry but I can't bring the dessert menu until you at least try to finish your peas and carrots, it's policy."

It's an unwritten law. Guys can like only two kinds of flowering plants - a cactus with thorns or that one that eats flies.

"Because you always do that with your fingers."

'Yuck! My creamed corn is polluting my mashed potatoes!'

Man with balloons about to bump into a woman with a cactus

Say it with cacti

"Let me help you in your effort ti think INSIDE the box once again."

'Stopped a shoplifter today. Caught him red-handed.'

We have a lot in common. I'm free range and he's off the leash.

"No thanks, I prefer salmon."

'In case I forget it, I've had my name tattooed on the inside of my eyelids.'

'You'll have to excuse my brother. He's a little different.'

'I've told you before, I don't like broccoli.'

Conclusions Drawn: Still lives at home with Mom and Dad.

"I wish he'd taketh away broccoli!"

The Odd Duck

"Of course I won. I was already a winner. I didn't even have to run the race."

"You know, I really, really, don't like ethnic restaurants."