Pun-loving Plant Person Gifts

A Flower is about to executed by Secateurs

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

Flytrap nerd.

'The vegetarians are the smug-looking ones...'

Woolly tofu.

"Good news - he's in a vegetative state."

'He grew on me and he's been watering himself ever since!'

Cat punishement.

Say it with cacti

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

"Mr. Whopple, time to slow down on the veggie diet!"

'Stopped a shoplifter today. Caught him red-handed.'

'Say when.'

Cactus Hold Up

Bathing Flowers.

"I see you've laid out your garden."

"Bloody cowslips!"

"If we make it greener on this side of the river, the wildebeests will cross here..."

"I'm looking for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

'Daisys squirting-no punch line'

"Wordplay - transplant. I used to be a gladiola."

Undignified Exits of the Plant World

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

'I think one of us must be a plant.'

"Don't worry about that, the staff can't seem to keep anything alive around here."

'It appears you have dry scalp.'

"Peweeew! Drop your arms, please. Your arm pits are foul."