Plant Pun Enthusiast Gifts

"Bloody cowslips!"

"Sir, my dad is a professional gardener and he says there's no such thing as a square root."

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

Flytrap nerd.

Say it with cacti

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

Doctor to Pinocchio: 'I'm referring you to a tree surgeon.'

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

'The vegetarians are the smug-looking ones...'

'Joe said he had some special bulbs.'

Woolly tofu.

"Mr. Whopple, time to slow down on the veggie diet!"

'He grew on me and he's been watering himself ever since!'

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

"Good news - he's in a vegetative state."

'Stopped a shoplifter today. Caught him red-handed.'

'Say when.'

"Please tell me I look NOTHING like THAT guy!"

Cactus Hold Up

"Wordplay - transplant. I used to be a gladiola."

"I'm looking for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

Undignified Exits of the Plant World

"Then I said, 'So what does a lesbian vegan Wiccan do for fun?'"

"Don't worry about that, the staff can't seem to keep anything alive around here."

'It appears you have dry scalp.'

"Don't be embarrassed. Lots of men your age use Miracle-Gro."

'I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals - I'm a vegetarin because I hate plants.'

Legumes.

'We can't wait to get into a bed with you lot!'

'Young Lady, didn't I tell you that fellow would go bad?'