Plant-based Pun Enthusiast Gifts

Vegan Burgers. We're expanding output, but you created confusion by telling customers that we're "beefing up" production.

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"What are you in for?"

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

ACME Condiments Quality Control. The boss wants to know if you're going to pass the ketchup.

"Guac-A-Mole"

"I'm going to start with the antipasta."

Flytrap nerd.

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

What's the difference between fast food and slow food?

'The vegetarians are the smug-looking ones...'

Tree's Tree Nursery. Of course we can plant them. We'll be right over! $. It's the only hedge fund I can get behind. Tree's Trees.

What on earth are you doing? Well, you wanted battered sausage, didn't you?

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

Cover my mouth when I cough? with what?

"It's not addicting, all natural, recycled and plant-based...it's cud!"

Woolly tofu.

Vegan Menu

"Mr. Whopple, time to slow down on the veggie diet!"

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

"I know it's made of tofu, Paul, but you're missing the point."

"I'm surprised Tofurkey isn't more popular. It tastes nothing like turkey."

"Good news - he's in a vegetative state."

"The four seasons? Easy. Pepper, Salt, Mustard and Vinegar!"

"That's a silly magazine quiz, but I would say Frenchmen are leg-men..."

'We've isolated the gene for breadcrumbs!'

Say it with cacti