Quirky Plant Caretaker Gifts

Bonsai Gardener

"I think it's a Spider Plant bite."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

Man transplants plant in his garden.

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

Egg Buggy

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

'Take me to your weeder!'

Industrial Beautification van

Planting Bird Seed.

Man is injured transporting cacti.

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

"I dread these W.I. meetings

"The cat was there."

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

Cactus Man.

"Now, that's my kind of gardener: somebody who grows dandelions! I love dandelions..."

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

I've got lettuce, snow peas and radishes planted. Seeds. Next I'll plant beans, zucchini, leeks and chard. Plus tomatoes and basil. A lot of work for stuff no one wants to eat.

Football fan