Quirky Romantic Pillows

Carbon Dating.

'I hear that diamonds are really, really hard. Do you have anything easier?'

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

Surgeon gives nurse heart, saying, Will you be my valentine?

'Pinocchio, under the 'would like to meet' section you've put 'fun-loving brunette made of oak'. This may prove difficult.'

A worm falls for some udders.

Man manages to look at woman's feet while playing the piano by sawing a piece of piano off

'It was love at first sight. My immune system couldn't resist him.'

"I have such strong feelers for you."

'Yes I'm sure we will be able to put together your perfect match.'

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicted."

Carbon Dating

Didgeridoos

Professor Plum was angry that he needed to re-calibrate the 'Pussy Magnet'!

'Like to come up and see my pre-war dentures collection?'

His suggestion of a suicide pact was not altogether what she was expecting.

The Romance Between the Tap and the Cup.

Evolution - the early years.

Happy Valentine's Day.

"He enjoys the same perversions as me, he doesn't enjoy the same perversions as me..."

'Erma, will you take my hand in...er, uh..will you marry me?'

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

"You're my brick."

Tom prepares for his hot date

'You are a cat person!'

'I fancy you rotten!'

Evolution: Species that don't adapt must not reproduce.

"Would you like to grab a water sometime?"

Banana Smoothie

Spiderman offering a flower to a spider

"It's serious. We've had each other's tracking numbers tattooed on our bottoms."

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

"Ohh darling - how lovely..!!"

Corona one night stand

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'