Quirky Romantic Gifts

'I love your spindly legs, your tiny pinhead and your bulging thorax - marry me!'

Carbon Dating.

'I hear that diamonds are really, really hard. Do you have anything easier?'

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

Surgeon gives nurse heart, saying, Will you be my valentine?

'Pinocchio, under the 'would like to meet' section you've put 'fun-loving brunette made of oak'. This may prove difficult.'

A worm falls for some udders.

Man manages to look at woman's feet while playing the piano by sawing a piece of piano off

"I have such strong feelers for you."

Didgeridoos

Carbon Dating

'Yes I'm sure we will be able to put together your perfect match.'

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicted."

'It was love at first sight. My immune system couldn't resist him.'

"It's serious. We've had each other's tracking numbers tattooed on our bottoms."

'You are a cat person!'

Evolution: Species that don't adapt must not reproduce.

Corona one night stand

"Too soon?"

"Ohh darling - how lovely..!!"

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

Banana Smoothie

"Would you like to grab a water sometime?"

'I fancy you rotten!'

Tom prepares for his hot date

Happy Valentine's Day.

His suggestion of a suicide pact was not altogether what she was expecting.

Professor Plum was angry that he needed to re-calibrate the 'Pussy Magnet'!

'Like to come up and see my pre-war dentures collection?'

The Romance Between the Tap and the Cup.

Evolution - the early years.

"He enjoys the same perversions as me, he doesn't enjoy the same perversions as me..."

'Erma, will you take my hand in...er, uh..will you marry me?'

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

"You're my brick."