Quirky Pet Shows Gifts

Too late they realized they'd awarded 1st place to a mop.

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"He was a sea rescue."

Agility God

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

Cat Show

"That's just not the real me."

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

"Teach me not to care."

Cat and Dog both eating from wrong bowls.

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

Collective unconscious.

Dog Show: Worst of Breed

"If you'll excuse me fellas. I have to see a man about a dog. Specifically-this dog."

Dog Show. He was this close to winning a ribbon until they subtracted points for his breath.

'It's about that lizard you sold me four months ago.'

Cats and Dogs.

''Pet of the Year', That's me!'

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

A Scottish Terrier playing bagpipes wins the dog show.

Most dog-like dog.

'See what I mean, Doc?'

Best in Heat.

'Damn showdog people!'

101 uses of a dead cat: parrot stand.

'Here, you're allowed to sharpen your claws to your heart's content!'

"Listen, buddy, a lot of dogs accidentally wee-wee at Westminster."

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

Bunny TV.

"I've been feeling needy and it's got me worried."

101 uses of a dead cat: rollerskates

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'