Quirky Pet Humor Enthusiast Gifts

Dog Food - A Guide.

"Irritable growl syndrome acting up again?"

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

The First Cone of Shame.

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

Pet Entertainers

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

Dog phrenology

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

"Try to blame that one on the dog."

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

Rogue elephant

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

Doggy conductor

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

The Karate Kitten.

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"Teach me not to care."

Dog Calenders.

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

'I'm worried about that dog's hearing,Doris.'

"If you'll excuse me fellas. I have to see a man about a dog. Specifically-this dog."

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

"I don't think you fully thought out your escape plan!" "Meow..."