Quirky News Reader Gifts

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall..."

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

Great British Eccentrics.

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

Idle parts

Bird reading '1001 pickup lines' - 'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Sex Section in the Library

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

'Good book?'

'Nothing's happened today-read it dead slowly.'

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

The Farmer Sutra.

The Curious George pop-down book

"Where's your section of books that tell you simple things you already know?"

Gigolo Diary

Louse and garden...

Older cousin press

Car's bumper sticker reads: 'My other car is a bookmobile.'

Impractical Gardener.

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

Man reading 'Amnesia volume 1' while having a bookshelf full of 'Amnesia Volume 1'

New From Why? Books

Skunk in library reads from the '10 Best Smellers'.

"You usually don't see the classics wash up on the beach these days."