Quirky Newspaper Lover Gifts

The Nectar Times

"I love you, you big fool."

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

Great British Eccentrics.

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

Fishing.

Bird reading '1001 pickup lines' - 'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Dummies for Dummies.

"Are those my slippers?!"

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

'Good book?'

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

Nobody's reding our company blog,we need you to have sex with Mrs Miggins so that we can spice it up!

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

Half-A**ed Publishing Presents...

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'

Rare Books / Exceedingly Rare Books / Never Published Books

'Going up?'

"Prepare yourself for a shock. The birth records reveal you have a twin brother."

Louse and garden...

Gigolo Diary

Older cousin press

Abandoned baby with note is left by mouse hole.

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'