Quirky Logic Fan Gifts

'Well Officer, a mugger could run off with a credit card, so I feel that this is a safer method of carrying my money around...'

Computer Room.

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

"Trust me. Don't do it."

'He's very particular about how far we walk.'

"You get one every time you order something online."

Tapped Tree

I'm representing Rudy in your relationship discussions. It's common sense. It will enable both parties to not get too emotional. You're trying to prevent emotion from bleeding into a relationship discussion. Check. Dumbest thing I've ever heard! Calm down.

I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University. Seriously? Nobody's going to go to a psychologist who's got a diploma from some random online college. And psychologists have to have a whole arsenal of treatments. They can't just use reverse psychology for everything. So what you're reverse-saying is, I'll be sought-after and highly effective. No that's ... ok, yes, that's exactly what I'm saying.

Crazy paving company.

A Protractor.

"This one is really unusual. We have to remove a horseshoe from a guy's naval."

Sugar Machine

Freak Accident Specialist

'Think about it: If you eat me now, you won't get an egg every day...'

Showbiz

'It's a bird, it's a plane...it's superman! Oh brother, a bird and a plane aren't even close to the same size...I really need some new glasses.'

"Well, if everybody does it, it must be o.k."

'Try rebooting.'

"She has to find just the right spot."

"He's on your 'personal computer'. . . his name is Norman and he's really good at mental arithmetic."

Geographic Oddities. It defies logic, but Little Rock is a bigger city than Boulder.

"Ambitions... to receive the MBE for services to the brewing industry."

Chicken and egg in a waiting room: 'Who was first?'

Dave wanted to make sure that he'd be able to blow out all the candles on his cake.

Solar powered sunbed.

'According to the surveys nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot...'

Failed business ventures.

"Guess what I say today!!"

'Sure I can chat - just let me pull over to the shoulder.'

'How aout this one? Better or worse?'

"That's the last time I let you drive."

"It seems reasonable to assume that eating the stuff won't do us any good either."

Man on desert island asks for a lighter rather than a rescue.

Silhouettes