Quirky Logic Fan Pillows

'Well Officer, a mugger could run off with a credit card, so I feel that this is a safer method of carrying my money around...'

Computer Room.

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

"Trust me. Don't do it."

'He's very particular about how far we walk.'

"You get one every time you order something online."

Tapped Tree

Crazy paving company.

A Protractor.

Sugar Machine

"This one is really unusual. We have to remove a horseshoe from a guy's naval."

'Think about it: If you eat me now, you won't get an egg every day...'

Showbiz

"Well, if everybody does it, it must be o.k."

'Try rebooting.'

"She has to find just the right spot."

"He's on your 'personal computer'. . . his name is Norman and he's really good at mental arithmetic."

"Ambitions... to receive the MBE for services to the brewing industry."

Chicken and egg in a waiting room: 'Who was first?'

Solar powered sunbed.

Failed business ventures.

'According to the surveys nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot...'

"It seems reasonable to assume that eating the stuff won't do us any good either."

"Guess what I say today!!"

'Sure I can chat - just let me pull over to the shoulder.'

Filing Cabinet reading Eeny, Meeny Miny Mo.

"That's the last time I let you drive."

Man on desert island asks for a lighter rather than a rescue.